♫ I've been through the desert on a...♫

Except it wasn't a horse it was a camel; with no name I mean. I had the male, the lead animal, at least on the outward trip. I was gracious enough to swap beasts for the return home when one of the others wanted a change. Rather than follow my initial reluctance, I placed myself in their position, thought how I would have liked a go in the lead position if the situation were reversed, and swapped places graciously. It's not as if I haven't been on a camel ride across the desert before. It was certainly better up front, so why not share the experience? I've dug deep and hard into my psyche to pull myself out of a rut, hopefully the slope is no longer slippery, hopefully I can start dragging myself back up it now.Never under estimate the power of your own mind, it can destroy you utterly; it can also be your saviour. Such little episodes as above may seem so trivial, but they all mount up. I'd let a host of minor annoyances play on my already depleted sate of mind, but it isn't how I want to be. I've largely come away to rediscover the wonderous world we live in, to appreciate how precious life is; it won't happen by dissing everything and being intolerant. Bear in mind that we are the ones in control of our own minds, use that privileged position wisely, or suffer the consequences. My natural tendency to criticise rather than cherish is my undoing, it plagues my inner peace, blinds the eye to the wonder around me, makes me sink into a dark and troubled frame of mind. (Photos: 1] First view of Singing Sands; 2] Before I got the hump - Dunhuang, Gansu province, China)

Once leaving the centre of Dunhuang huge dunes appeared, rearing up from behind the guesthouse, mountains of sand in exquisite contours, in a myriad of subtle shades. Such an awesome background still failed to dwarf the sight that beheld, the beautifully ornate building and courtyard of the hostel. How could I not notice the beauty of it's traditional Chinese design? A porticoed courtyard allows a light and airy space to relax and while away the day. Delicate wooden scrollwork joins the courtyard pillars to the supporting beams; of no practical purpose they serve only to please the eye. Ochre painted woodwork accentuates delicate, sombre oranges and yellows in scrolls, petals, curlicues, and fish scales. Paintings of typical Chinese brushwork grace the main beams, monochrome bamboo, mountain fortresses, roses, and ornate archways sat upon beautiful headlands. Bamboo rafters support a roof of glazed aquamarine tiles, scalloped to protect the edge from water ingress. Entering through iron studded gates corn cobs hang across the arches, drying in the sun. Chinese lanterns illuminate side shelters, silk screen pictures adorn the walls; the place is gorgeous. (Photo: Nothing but sand - Dunhuang, Gansu province, China)

Unfortunately I had little time to appreciate my new abode, with only an hour before the camel excursion my concern was to shit, shower and shave in rapid succession. With barely enough time to shove a plateful of food down my throat I couldn't even indulge in sharing a conversation with the first western folk I've seen since Beijing. Not to worry, I was only going for one night, and with three other Europeans on the excursion, we'd be able to engage in a meaningful conversation in the depths of the Taklamakan desert, while gazing at the Milky Way. (Photo: Razor sharp ridge of sand- Dunhuang, Gansu province, China)

(Photo: Every shade of sand, - Dunhuang, Gansu province, China)

Hmmm, It didn't quite turn out the way I assumed. With a Chinese tourist in the group, who obviously had no thoughts of peaceful reflection, of enjoying the perfect stillness of the barren sands, any chance of quiet contemplation went out the window. Shouting out songs at the top of his voice didn't enamour me to our Chinese companion, neither did his advice against taking pictures of the dunes. A graveyard lay scattered as far as the eye could see, filling the foreground, completing a picture of depth and intensity. It brought to mind the absence of life, emphasising the harsh reality of the lifeless terrain before us. Being warned not to take pictures of the graveyard wasn't what I wanted to hear. Superstition isn't in my nature, abiding to that of others goes against the grain somewhat. But away went the camera, I didn't want to cause offence, and with it went my went my spirits. That marked the beginning of a struggle with my own negative demeanour, the singing and constant chatter only added to it. I had envisaged being able to exchange meaningful words with fellow travellers, enjoying the presence of other westerners. Conversation wasn't really the most important aspect of the camel ride though, I'd have been happy with tranquility, I certainly hadn't expected a constant barrage of Mandarin. Unable to do much more than catch his breath between sentences, our Oriental friend talked Chinese non-stop to the guide, taking away any chance to soak in the flavour of the desert. He didn't speak any English, yet dominated the social gathering, to the exclusion of everyone else. It proved a long and not very relaxing night before I gave myself a kind word or two and endeavoured to be more tolerant. It took a walk into the dunes on my own to gather my thoughts, it was sorely needed, I could feel my ire rising. (Photos: 1] Ships of the desert; 2] Living on the fringe - Dunhuang, Gansu province, China)

All in all the experience was just that, an experience; neither positive nor negative. Too many past experiences can taint the present one if comparisons rule the proceedings. It may be difficult to see everything in a new light, but we shouldn't be ruled by the past. I'm constantly having to remind myself to lighten up, but I do have the self awareness to realise the necessity of this. I've chosen this path of discovery, I need to lift myself out of the mire. I believed travelling would do this, I am all too aware that it's preferable to the existence I'd created at home. There I found myself struggling to appreciate anything life had to offer. Who would chose that type of life over the chance to explore, the opportunity to experience a wealth of new cultures, a host of colourful characters? So that's my aim, wherever I go, however I get there, to keep my eyes open and appreciate what confronts me. it won't always be easy, but that's the way of life, we must all take the rough with the smooth. (Photos: Food for thought - Dunhuang, Gansu province, China)